Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Internal Family Systems Therapy for Healing, Self-Understanding, and Lasting Change

Have you ever felt like different parts of you are pulling you in different directions?

One part of you wants to slow down, while another insists you need to keep going. One part wants connection, while another wants to protect you from getting hurt. You may understand intellectually what you want to change, yet still find yourself reacting in familiar ways.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a compassionate way to understand these patterns without judging or pathologizing yourself.

At Saltwater Wellness Counseling, I use IFS as part of a trauma-informed, relational approach to therapy for adults in Salt Lake City, Holladay, and throughout Utah via secure telehealth.

What Is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems, often called IFS or “parts work,” is a therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS recognizes that our minds naturally contain different parts, each with its own feelings, beliefs, needs, and protective strategies.

Rather than viewing these parts as problems that need to be eliminated, IFS approaches them with curiosity and compassion.

You might recognize parts of yourself such as:

The inner critic who is constantly telling you that you aren't doing enough
The perfectionist who believes everything has to be just right
The people-pleaser who works hard to keep everyone happy
The anxious part that constantly anticipates what could go wrong
The part that shuts down or disconnects when things feel overwhelming
The part that becomes angry or reactive when you feel hurt
The part that feels responsible for taking care of everyone else
The part that desperately wants to feel safe, loved, or understood

IFS helps you develop a different relationship with these parts—one based on compassion and curiosity rather than criticism.

You Are Not Your Parts

One of the central ideas in IFS is that there is more to you than the thoughts, emotions, and protective patterns you experience.

IFS refers to your deeper, grounded sense of self as Self. From this place, you can begin to approach difficult emotions and protective patterns with greater calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage, creativity, confidence, and connection.

Instead of asking, “What's wrong with me?”

We can begin asking:

“What is this part of me trying to protect?”

That shift can be surprisingly powerful.

How IFS Can Help

IFS can be particularly helpful when you feel stuck in patterns that you understand but can't seem to change.

We may use IFS therapy to explore:

Anxiety and chronic worry
Trauma and difficult past experiences
Depression and feeling disconnected from yourself
Perfectionism and self-criticism
Shame and low self-worth
Relationship patterns
People-pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries
Emotional reactivity
Parenting challenges
Difficult life transitions
Feeling overwhelmed or burned out
Repeating patterns that no longer serve you

IFS can also be integrated with other approaches, including EMDR, CBT, mindfulness, and relational therapy, depending on your needs and goals.

What Does an IFS Therapy Session Feel Like?

IFS therapy isn't about forcing yourself to revisit painful memories or getting rid of parts of yourself.

Instead, we'll slow things down and become curious about what's happening inside you.

You might notice a thought, emotion, sensation, or reaction and begin exploring it together:

What are you noticing?

What does this part want you to know?

What is it afraid might happen?

How long has it been trying to protect you?

Over time, you may begin to understand yourself in a way that feels less judgmental and more compassionate.

The goal isn't to silence your inner critic, eliminate your anxiety, or force difficult feelings away. It's to understand what those parts have been trying to accomplish and help you develop more choice in how you respond.

IFS and Trauma

Many protective patterns develop for good reasons.

When you've experienced trauma, chronic stress, difficult relationships, or experiences that felt overwhelming, certain parts of you may learn to stay alert, avoid vulnerability, take control, shut down, or protect you from emotional pain.

These responses may have helped you survive or cope at one point in your life, even if they're creating problems now.

IFS offers a compassionate framework for understanding these protective responses rather than treating them as something fundamentally wrong with you (because I know there isn’t!)

You Don't Have to Fight Yourself to Heal

Sometimes the parts of ourselves we dislike the most are the parts that have been working the hardest to protect us.

Therapy can be an opportunity to stop fighting with yourself and start listening to yourself.

If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or caught in patterns you don't understand, IFS therapy may offer a different way forward.

Start With a Free Consultation

If you're considering IFS therapy in Salt Lake City, I offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can talk about what you're looking for and decide whether working together feels like a good fit.

Call 385-275-6441 or email sarah@saltwaterwellnesscounseling to get in touch to schedule a consultation.

Frequently Asked Questions About IFS Therapy

Do IFS “parts” mean I have multiple personalities?

No. Having parts is not the same thing as having multiple personalities or a dissociative disorder.

IFS uses the word “parts” to describe different aspects of our inner experience. For example, you might notice an inner critic, a people-pleasing part, an anxious part, or a part that wants to withdraw when you're hurt.

You don't need to have a particular diagnosis—or even be familiar with the idea of “parts”—to benefit from this approach. We can simply use the language that feels natural and helpful to you.

Do I have to talk about my trauma in IFS therapy?

Not necessarily. You are never expected to share more than you're ready to share.

IFS can be particularly useful for exploring protective patterns that developed in response to difficult or overwhelming experiences, but therapy doesn't have to begin by diving into painful memories. In fact, the IFS model emphasizes working with protective parts and respecting their concerns about the pace of therapy.

We can start with what you're experiencing today—anxiety, relationship difficulties, self-criticism, feeling overwhelmed, difficulty setting boundaries, or another concern—and gradually explore what may be underneath those patterns when you feel ready.

What happens during an IFS therapy session?

An IFS session may look different from traditional talk therapy.

We might start by identifying something that is bothering you and becoming curious about what happens inside when that situation comes up. You may notice a thought, emotion, physical sensation, image, or impulse associated with a particular part of you.

Rather than judging or trying to immediately change that experience, we'll slow down and explore it together.

You might hear questions such as:

“What are you noticing right now?”
“How do you feel toward this part?”
“What is this part trying to protect you from?”
“What does this part need you to understand?”

You remain in control of the process. We can slow down, pause, or change direction whenever something feels too intense or isn't helpful.

What if I can't visualize my parts or don't know what my parts are?

That's completely okay.

IFS doesn't require you to see your parts as people, pictures, or characters in your mind. Parts can show up as thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, memories, images, or simply a sense that “a part of me feels this way.”

You also don't have to use IFS terminology. If talking about an “anxious part” doesn't resonate with you, we can find language that does.

The goal isn't to perform IFS correctly. It's to become more curious about your internal experience and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Will IFS make me feel worse before I feel better?

Therapy can sometimes bring up difficult emotions, particularly when we're exploring painful experiences or long-standing protective patterns. That doesn't mean you have to push through overwhelming feelings.

One of the strengths of the IFS approach is its emphasis on respecting protective parts and working at a pace that feels manageable. The model specifically encourages therapists to assess protective parts, understand their concerns, and negotiate the pace of deeper work.

Your comfort and sense of safety matter. If something feels like too much, we can slow down and focus on grounding, stabilization, or what is happening in the present moment.

Can IFS help with anxiety?

IFS can be a helpful way to explore the different parts of you that experience anxiety, worry, perfectionism, fear, or the need to stay in control.

Instead of treating anxiety as an enemy that you need to eliminate, we can become curious about what your anxious part is worried might happen and what it is trying to prevent.

This can create more room between you and the anxious response, allowing you to respond with greater awareness rather than automatically reacting from fear.

If anxiety is one of your primary concerns, IFS can also be integrated with other therapeutic approaches depending on your goals and needs.

Can IFS help with trauma?

Yes. IFS is commonly used as a framework for working with trauma and protective responses. The model emphasizes understanding the ways protective parts may develop around painful or overwhelming experiences rather than viewing those responses as evidence that something is wrong with you.

Trauma therapy doesn't have to mean repeatedly reliving what happened. We can focus on helping you feel safer in the present, understanding your responses, and developing greater compassion and flexibility around patterns that may have once helped you cope.

When appropriate, IFS can also be integrated with other trauma-focused approaches.

Is IFS the same as inner-child work?

There is some overlap, but they aren't exactly the same thing.

Both approaches can involve connecting with younger or vulnerable aspects of yourself and responding to them with compassion. IFS, however, provides a broader framework for understanding your internal system, including protective parts, vulnerable parts, and the qualities associated with Self.

You don't have to choose between one approach or the other. Depending on your goals and experiences, elements of different therapeutic approaches may be incorporated into your work.

How is IFS different from traditional talk therapy?

Traditional talk therapy can involve discussing your thoughts, emotions, experiences, and relationships with your therapist. IFS can include that too, but it adds an intentional focus on your internal relationships—how different parts of you respond to one another and how you relate to those parts.

For some people, this creates a new way of understanding patterns that they have been trying to change for years.

Instead of simply asking, “Why do I keep doing this?”

IFS may invite us to ask:

“What part of me is doing this, what is it trying to accomplish, and what does it need?”

That shift from self-criticism to curiosity can be an important part of the therapeutic process.

How do I know if IFS is right for me?

IFS may be a good fit if you're curious about understanding yourself more deeply and want to approach difficult patterns with less judgment.

It may be especially worth exploring if you:

Feel stuck in patterns you understand intellectually but can't seem to change
Are hard on yourself or struggle with an intense inner critic
Experience anxiety, perfectionism, or people-pleasing
Feel conflicted about important decisions or relationships
Notice that different parts of you seem to want different things
Have experienced trauma or difficult relationships
Want to develop greater self-compassion
Feel disconnected from yourself or your emotions

You don't need to know whether IFS is the right approach before reaching out. We can talk about what you're experiencing and decide together whether this approach—or another therapeutic approach—makes sense for your goals.

Can IFS be combined with other types of therapy?

Yes. IFS doesn't necessarily have to be used by itself.

Depending on your needs, IFS concepts can be integrated with other therapeutic approaches. For example, therapy may incorporate elements of EMDR, CBT, mindfulness, and relational therapy alongside IFS.

The goal is not to fit you into one particular method. It's to choose an approach that fits your experiences, needs, and goals.

What are the benefits of IFS therapy?

One unique benefit of IFS is that it offers a way to understand difficult reactions or emotions without turning them into evidence that something is wrong with you.

Instead of fighting your anxiety, criticizing your perfectionism, or feeling ashamed of your emotional reactions, you can begin to become curious about what those parts are trying to accomplish.

Over time, this can support greater self-understanding, self-compassion, emotional flexibility, and a stronger sense of choice.

IFS also emphasizes the idea that you have an inherent capacity for healing and that therapy can be collaborative rather than the therapist simply telling you what needs to change.

What if I don't know what I need from therapy yet?

You don't have to have everything figured out before starting.

Sometimes the first step is simply recognizing that something isn't working anymore—you feel anxious, overwhelmed, disconnected, stuck in a relationship pattern, or tired of being so hard on yourself.

We can start there.

During an initial consultation, we can talk about what brings you to therapy, what you're hoping will change, and whether IFS feels like a good fit for you.